Hello internet

I still exist. It's been like, 3 weeks or something in school now. Kind of flew it seems.

I've not been posting. Mostly cuz I um, haven't been inspired or anything. By inspired I mean like, I haven't been out all too much in a setting where I'll have a good idea to write about. By "good idea", I mean something that's not horridly self absorbed/whiny/boring/all of above. I suppose this post falls into that category, but whatever.

Doesn't matter anyway.

White flag.

If my ideals were in any way possible, I'd sleep well tonight. [I wont sleep well tonight]

I think some people are... Amazingly great. There exists many people who are much better than myself. Then, I'm just off the face of the earth. I'm just here. Kind of too idealist to fit in, but no where charming enough to pull it off.

I'm a little lost.

the miserable/the oppressed/the dead.

People taking the bus home. From their, you know, shirt and tie, "professional" (like other people aren't professional at what they do) jobs... Making money on wall street or whatever sad thing they're doing. They're all fucking miserable. I see it in their eyes. Their attitude, devoid of anything resembling empathy. Snappy and miserable. In power, though. Going home to their middle of the line car in a park n ride, driving to their middle of the line home. Not standing up for anything, but their money and power.

Meanwhile, the kind guy chases a man out of the subway, bringing him his umbrella that was left behind. Older guy, or just perhaps just more worn out. No reason to do it, but to save a guy from walking in the pouring rain.

Why am I supposed to admire the rich? Why do we not follow around those who are technically poor, but do nice things, and take pictures of them doing nice things for people they do not know?


Meanwhile, Gaza burns and we all think it's just okay. Just okay that Israel is bombing schools. They're not terrorizing the general population. Gazans are too busy trying to survive and bury their children to be scared.

Christmas/one reason/nuclear age

What a sad time of year. Even Santa, the trophy of selflessness, is going on a shooting spree. (link) Perfectly trimmed lawn. The best lights. Masters degree in Engineering. Pleasant, Catholic guy. Everything I'm about to be.

Not the only reason why it's a sad time of year. The rest of the reasons well... We've all been there. Feeling alone, feeling like everyone else is happy but we're not, that game.

Grim reality is even my parents don't know what to buy me for Christmas.

In fact, the one reason I exist is to go to school. I don't think anyone expressed interest into much else about me. Just how were those grades. When are you graduating. All I have to look forward to is those questions about what job I'll get, then who I'll marry, then when I'll get promoted, then when I'll retire...

This age, this glass globe we live in... It has to shatter before we can be who we are.

state of the union [our skinheads hang out at holister[

Often times, European culture and American culture are generalized together, simply, "the west." To me, there's one clear difference between the two. Radicalism exists in Europe. Here, well... Our skinheads hang out at holister. Sharp in their polo/sweater/fashionably mangled jeans. Only the best chinatown special cologne. Standing in front of the store, their exact clone, staring out into the mall. Except maybe he's shirtless, and ripped and tan and all that shit, or something. We love that stuff.

Our skinheads hang out at Holister, preaching on about the holiness of Ayn Rand and Objectivism. Why Ron Paul should've won so mommy and daddy can pay less taxes, so the government can help less people.

The salvation of the tatters that is the counter culture here in America is that our skinheads are pretty lame.

Though, it's not hard to find the tatters of the counter culture. They're at the mall too. At least they get yelled at for loitering. [Apparently, you can't stand in a mall, you've got to walk around and buy shit] Too busy with drugs to give a shit about possibly even objecting to the presence of the objectivist temple that is the mall, not to even mention taking direct action.

We've done it. We're a totally apathetic nation.

I want to change this place.

Lost/Abbandoned/Free

The unintended consequence of my existence today was...

Today, I eh, I suppose you'd say I quit my one role in a social instutition I held, as you could see.

The backstory goes they gave us about a tenth of what we asked for in budgeting, and apparently if you complain, it's insulting. What a great government.

The question is... Am I right? If I think I'm right, how come no one else seems to care about how fucked up government is? How come I've concluded this and everyone is a-okay with it?

Why do I, all of a sudden, have the feeling of being an unwanted step child?

"An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it. "

(A)

My resignation letter.

all of student government-

I am resigning my position as Treasurer in Games Club. After consulting with a few of my friends and fellow officers of games club, I have decided that it is impossible for me to continue serving this current version of student government.

This email is thereby my personal thoughts on the issues raised, and does not represent the stances of games club, it's officers, et al.

One of my favorite philosophers of all time, Ghandi, once said, “A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” I stand by my emails to Mr. Perro. I did not use foul language. I did not insult Mr. Perro personally. I assert that I am fully within my rights to complain to the student government about the money which was not alloted to the club I belonged to. I assert that I have this right because I am a citizen of this government. Each semester, I pay money towards student activities. If this is a democracy, I think I should therefore have the ability to:

1) Review the budget for each semester.
2) Have the right to speak freely in order to raise grievances about the amount allocated.
3) Have student government address my issues in fair and timely manner.

Simply put, it's the job of government to serve it's constituents, not the other way around. Throughout this process, student government has taken more of an interest in criticizing me for complaining about this issue, rather than working to solve my issue.

I do not understand why student government does not like me.

I have apologized for the poor timing of my complaints. There is absolutely nothing I could do about this. I did not mean for them to fall around the time allotted for final examinations. However, there is nothing I could possibly do about it. It should not have prevented the answering of a simple question, such as “What did we do wrong to warrant sanctions?”, a question that remains an absolute mystery. Instead of looking in the records as to what we did wrong, student government would rather take that time to tell me to basically stop complaining. I find this to be unacceptable behavior toward myself, a person who this government allegedly serves.

I will not back down or disavow my most basic human rights. I apologize if the exercise of rights offends you. I will never apologize for criticizing government. Particularly over an issue which is so vital such as the denial of funds towards the club I once belonged to.

I hope that, in the future, games club will continue on without me and will not be looked upon negatively from this affair. I wish all my friends the best of luck.