Show me the way to go home

I'm tired and I wanna go to bed.
I had a little drink 'bout an hour ago and it's gone right to my head.



I.
Don't.
Have.
Anything.
Else.
To.
Say.

Which way is up?

Something I wanted to remember

"The only difference between here and China is that here you speak and it doesn't matter. Over there you just don't say anything. It's the same result in the end" -Brian M.

Columbia

Big words and big ideas
soundin sane on the subway
We are just fascinating

One day we'll dress up,
we who are how we look,
and forget it all
cuz it's damn fascinating

Beginning of the End

I'm sort of melancholy recently. This is the end of sorts. No longer a kid. On my own.

Except not really on my own. People still expect things of me. Wife, kids, good job, all that. But I don't really desire these things. I hardly know what I want. I think I know what I don't want, which is a start. Sidetracked, right.

So it's my last semester of my last year of college. I've not done much I dreamed of. I did a lot I'm not proud of. I can't help but feeling like I failed. Like I didn't accomplish anything here. No revolution or anything, you know? Not even the start. I've not come out of my shell. I'm probably not such a great friend, etc.
(I'm starting to feel glad no one reads this much)

So, what now? I've done what was asked, what do I do now?

I guess I have to start looking.

Post christmas

Somehow, you never get what you really want.

In the past, I'd go into an anti-materialist rant, but I'd feel hypocritical if I did it today. Not because I found happiness in what I got, but because I took what I got with the normal, content smile. Maybe I was happy for a minute there.

Then again, I'm glad I got something. Glad I don't have nothing. Lucky kid, I am.

Lucky for no good reason.

That buzz you hear is a million little fires

Fortune 500 conglomorates.
Building caverns in the ground for expanses combustable liquides.
Monotone, but everyone's quiet.
'cuz they got the money that we all want.

A nice donation here.
A kind word there.
Pictures for their brochures.
Public relation cloud #9.

Just go along.
Wear you're nicest shirt and khakis.
Pretend you belong.
Before you come to your senses.

Try not to worry about it too much.
There's no way that they're happy.
They can build caverns for oil.
But not happiness.

hi-atus

Once upon a time, I thought I was past this. I was done, never to return. A symbol of my teenage past. Heirlooms, like all the bullshit in my room back home from high school, on a shelf gathering dust. Revisit when I'm 40 and in the midst of a nasty mid life crisis.

I'm back again for some reason.

Typing stuff that's nonsensical.

Annoyed at the priorities at hand. Running from the truth. That sort of thing. Again.

Whatever.