Kid A

I have a fundamental problem in the way I live my life.

I can not effectively deal with people. [they say that you can tell that a person's lying if he doesn't use contractions. It creates a funny paradox in this case. I appear to be lying to myself over something I'm trying to accuse myself of. (Don't be afraid, I'm very lost too)]

You see, this creates a sort of... internal question to myself. How can I claim to love those I do not engage in conversation with? How can I be there to serve everyone if I don't know anyone?

The idea I've been interested in this summer, like all summers, you know, justice and freedom and love, and all that, doesn't work in a one man world. Thinking of it, reading of it, dreaming of it, does nothing if I don't practice it, aye? Well, how can I practice it if I don't deal with anyone?

I've had the flu or something these past couple days. Outside my family, and work, because I had to arrange for someone to cover my shift. I don't really think anyone noticed. This is kind of... worrying. I mean, I'm laying in the bed I made, it's totally my fault.

I understand what I'm doing wrong. I don't know how to be any other way. Herein lays the problem.

I want to be normal. I despise normality. It's a fun paradox to play with.