This is it. No more jester. No more being around just for entertainment of others while I'm stuck trying to balance doing the right thing with my innards. So, as the great Hank Williams said, "Now you-ah gonna change, or Im-ma gonna leave."
So, I suppose this is the danger of posting on consecutive days. Yesterdays thoughts are still fresh. I felt like that this day was, though, a little better. But, on the other hand, my decision to start burying things should probably stand. I don't think I've been hurt. But I don't know if I want to go down these roads. It's disconcerting, really, to look at reality. My future as a person who is thought of as having a smart head on his shoulders rests on 50 multiple choice questions on the obscure topics of chemistry. I don't want my happiness to be affected by it. There's more important things. But it can't be stopped.
This subway has gone off the rails.
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