Have you passed through this night?

Some things give me hope. Some things worry me. Some things seem hopeless. I suppose that sums up my day. Ironically, I think that sums up everyday and I just put up a post here for the sake of posting. I don't know. I guess nothing I am thinking about right now is too groundbreaking. Instead I am just up later than I hoped thinking about nothing and worrying about everything.

Harrowdown Hill

So exams are over. And I am home. Today I spent the day sleeping and still managing to feel crappy. So far my grades aren't disasterous. They aren't bad, but apparently not what people want. Sometimes I feel like my best isn't enough. I mean, maybe I haven't been you know, spending my life studying, but I don't know how much is expected of me. I guess I have the rest of my relaxing (ha ha ha) summer to contemplate my life. Or working like a slave and being alone and unappreciated and any other possible negative adjective a parent can think about thier son while holding thier daughter on a pedistal and giving her everything. But I digress. Greatly. Sorry.

So my hiatus was caused by finals, and I appologize for that.

I think this site is going to be loaded with a lot of my fustrations in the coming months. Fun stuff right, I mean reading my bitching? Everyone loves that. I guess I'll try to keep it relevant to all. Attempt to or something. If I don't implode somewhere.

No Surprises

Really tired. Getting depressed and dishearted with the current school situation. Some things really don't seem fair. But I can deal. Just have to worry about owning my finals. Hopefully can finish my paper tomorrow, we'll see though.

Blind Blind Blind

"This song is about drinking with friends. If you don't drink and have friends, then there things you can do with friends that are much better than drink. If you drink and don't have friends then you should probably stop drinking. If you drink and have friends... then drinking with friends is a good thing."

I think I fall somewhere in part 2 of that little story.

I got some work done. Not nearly enough. Going to not sleep tomorrow it looks like, for the first time in my college career. Sounds like fun.

Histories repeating as one thousand hearts mend

Well, yeah I've become a little lazy/busy/uninspired lately. Mayday has come and gone. Nothing's changed yet. But I don't know. One thought at a time, Mike.

I've got to do the bulk of an eight page paper this weekend on the topic of my choice. I decided to do it on why I despise walmart. It'll be posted up on here upon it's completion, perhaps. It may bore you, but it's something I actually care about, sort of. Unwillingly.

An odd thing happend yesterday. I was chilling out listening to music, mind you I wear the large, noise cancelling type so it's pretty hard to hear outside noise, but I hear someone fucking wailing on the door. So I get up and answer it, cuz that's what you do to doors. So, anyway, I open it and there are these two girls there. And the moment they see me they break out in laughter. Mind you, I am sort of familiar with one of these girls, so I'm kind of purplexed. I mean, I know they aren't looking for me, so they ask for one of the dudes next door, who comes out shirtless (>.>) with a sly smirk on his face. Now, I mean, I don't know the whole story, but it didn't exactly seem like it was something done with the purest intentions. I don't know. I overanalyse things. It's a fucking tiny thing, but it's the only out of the ordinary thing that's happend to me the past few days. I'm sort of shutting myself out more and more. I am just... I don't know how many people I can trust anymore. I don't know which hearts are true. I don't know anymore. I'm convinced I am slowly being driven nuts.