I am the key to the lock in your house...

Odd past couple of days. This whole "election" bit is starting to get to me. The school newspaper, the other day, put out an issue, featuring the two "candidates" and offering full polling results and articles offering the pros and cons of the candidates. Faculty to discuss women voting more. Funny statistics, obviously inflated by kids thinking that they have to answer a certain way to look good. To look like they give a shit. To look like they want to change the world.

83% was the figure. 83% of the kids polled were going to vote. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. The national rate is something like 50%, and that's with people at their homes at night. At school? Forget about it. Like kids went through the trouble of absentee balloting. The truth is, these kids know what's really going on. They do. They know that their vote is meaningless. That, no matter what they say, the world isn't going to change with McCain or Obama in office. Not for the better, in any case. They know it doesn't really matter. Yet the college rag keeps saying they should vote if they care about things to come, and the fucking peace people hold debate parties and vote now concerts and shit. Like fucking Barack Obama is going to bring peace to the world. HERE'S A NEWS FLASH. IT'S IN CAPS, YOU CAN'T MISS IT. HE'S WANTS TO GO INTO PAKISTAN AND BLOW UP SCHOOLS BECAUSE SOME GUY HAS A FRIEND WHO SAYS IT'S A TERRORIST TRAINING CAMP. HE WANTS MORE TROOPS IN AFGHANISTAN! THAT IS NOT PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know this. You do. Yet, you have to show that you care, right? That, sure Obama wont bring peace, but McCain will bring less peace so you should vote for the lesser of two evils.

I do not know about you, but I wont accept this. I deserve better than this. I will not endorse a man who is going to blow up a more buildings in the name of my "safety."

I will speak to the contrary.

Reminder.

A person from my graduating class in high school died the other day. Apparently something alcohol related, from what I gather. Horrible. It's hard to answer why. Death seems so unnecessary, especially in someone so young. Just because he wanted to have fun. Because no one's found the better way yet.

It's terribly demotivating. Why continue to grind myself in the bone and do well in school? It's not going to make me happier. It's going to have the opposite effect.

I'm off to continue trying to find the point.

past impressions/present problems/future uncertainty.

It's been a while. A few weeks. Maybe couple of weeks I suppose, to be accurate.


I've been busy. Had a few tests. No disasters yet. Hanging in there, hanging in there fine, let's hope that stays the same.

I get the impression that these days are sick. I get the impression that all candidates for president do not have a clue about what they're talking about. I get the impression that people aren't going along with this race because they think they're guy's got the best ideas for the future.

Politics isn't about the ideas anymore. It's not about the theory. It's not about the practice. It's not about the results.

It's about the naive hope that people hold in their candidates. Vote Obama, he'll bring peace. Vote McCain, our economy will be uber and plumbers can save for their own businesses. [small businesses, ha ha. Like they'll be around much longer]

If it were about the results, we would've demanded Bush's impeachment for his failures in the lead up to the Iraq war. Would've demanded he were held responsible for the failed policies he dictated to America without giving the citizens a choice to disprove. If we could recall a president, we'd be past this whole thing already...


Present. I have homework that I should get done for tomorrow that I will not finish tonight. I wish I could type "Oh well" and not feel bad. I suppose it's his fault, partially for confusing everyone on the due dates of all this. I think it's probably more vital that I take my time and learn the material. Yeah... Other than that, problems are small, and are mostly with myself. I'll get on it.


Future is coming. Halloween in a week or two. Thanksgiving the month after. Christmas after that. I get the feeling, the funny feeling, that it's not going to contain any particular magic.

I can't help but realize that it's not going to be that merry of a Christmas for a lot of people around the world.

The earth is not a cold, dead place.

Today, I felt like death. I wallowed in bed until, practically, 1 or 2. I was entirely, totally wiped out. Absolutely wrecked. I don't think I'm too sick anymore, besides the headache I got, probably from sleeping practically more than 12 hours.


This is what I've become. I'm a total mess.


I got laundry done. I started studying for a test on monday. Tomorrow I'm taking the week off from my normally early sunday wakeups and waking up later than normal, then staying around here and doing work. I've got a mountain to climb tomorrow. A mountain of something harder than stone and earth.

A mountain of academia.

That I've never been skilled at scaling. That I hardly even want to climb anymore. It's hard these days to be inspired to keep going.

But I feel that if I stop here, I'll perish.

Paradoxes of breath

If "Paradoxes" is the correct plural version of "paradox". I doubt it is. Can I ever be right about something like this? Haha. Almost like how right I can be about tests. Which isn't much.

Breathing sucks when you're sick. Right now, my sinuses are clogged, nose is stuffy, and it's just no fun. Had me thinking about the realities of breathing however many times per minute, per hour, per day, per lifetime. All the energy consumed by muscle as it expands and contracts. How much of that energy is lost due to inefficiency... For an evolved creature, we're so fucking inefficient. In physical ways, we can't do much about, but in general... We could make things so much better than they are, but... We don't care.

All we seem to care about is what we put above each other.