No means no, as they say...
22 June 2008
11 June 2008
Appeasement is an atrocity
Theory #4: Appeasement is an atrocity.
This person comes into my work today. He asks for a chocolate cone with chocolate sprinkles. My boss gives him one. But he looks shocked and says "Oh, I wanted vanilla". Oh.
My manager appeases him. Throws the perfectly good cone away, gets him a new one. Afterwards, he laments about how much he dislikes his job sometimes. You see, appeasement isn't fun.
Yet, we're all obligated. An endless cycle of appeasement exists in the world. But what we feel isn't always real. [theory 4.1- What we feel isn't always real.] What we feel towards obligation is what we perceive. If my manager would have loved to tell the guy to just fuck off. He should have told the guy to fuck off. But we're obligated by these stupid societal expectations.
That we walk in line. That we appease those who are in a better position than us. [theory 4.2- You don't know where you are until your at the bottom, serving everyone.] [theory 4.3- no one knows where they are.]
That we don't ask questions. That we accept things the way they are. That those who are unfortunate have to make those higher on the totem happy. But this shouldn't be the case. Happiness isn't for the rich. For the bosses. For the CEOs and corporate big wigs. For oil traders.
For all.
Support the strikers.
This person comes into my work today. He asks for a chocolate cone with chocolate sprinkles. My boss gives him one. But he looks shocked and says "Oh, I wanted vanilla". Oh.
My manager appeases him. Throws the perfectly good cone away, gets him a new one. Afterwards, he laments about how much he dislikes his job sometimes. You see, appeasement isn't fun.
Yet, we're all obligated. An endless cycle of appeasement exists in the world. But what we feel isn't always real. [theory 4.1- What we feel isn't always real.] What we feel towards obligation is what we perceive. If my manager would have loved to tell the guy to just fuck off. He should have told the guy to fuck off. But we're obligated by these stupid societal expectations.
That we walk in line. That we appease those who are in a better position than us. [theory 4.2- You don't know where you are until your at the bottom, serving everyone.] [theory 4.3- no one knows where they are.]
That we don't ask questions. That we accept things the way they are. That those who are unfortunate have to make those higher on the totem happy. But this shouldn't be the case. Happiness isn't for the rich. For the bosses. For the CEOs and corporate big wigs. For oil traders.
For all.
Support the strikers.
09 June 2008
There is a light.
I'm in a funk.
Not a bad funk. Not totally bad. Somewhat weird.
Normal distractions do nothing for me anymore. No more silly online games to occupy my time. Forums have lost their luster. I don't want to do these things anymore, simply.
Yet, I'm still me. I'm still as anti-social as ever. Still as shut in as ever.
But, I feel like myself.
I am. I exist. I'm not happy, but that's okay. Good even. If I were happy, I wouldn't want to change things. But change is good. Change is nessesary. Things are going to shit, in general, and in some ways, in my life, but that's okay. They're going to be changed until I am happy. And if I never find happiness, maybe there's a satisfaction in attempting to change things. I think I mentioned that.
It's how I feel. It's how I am. I'm not compromising anymore. This is me. I'm not going to shy away from it.
Not a bad funk. Not totally bad. Somewhat weird.
Normal distractions do nothing for me anymore. No more silly online games to occupy my time. Forums have lost their luster. I don't want to do these things anymore, simply.
Yet, I'm still me. I'm still as anti-social as ever. Still as shut in as ever.
But, I feel like myself.
I am. I exist. I'm not happy, but that's okay. Good even. If I were happy, I wouldn't want to change things. But change is good. Change is nessesary. Things are going to shit, in general, and in some ways, in my life, but that's okay. They're going to be changed until I am happy. And if I never find happiness, maybe there's a satisfaction in attempting to change things. I think I mentioned that.
It's how I feel. It's how I am. I'm not compromising anymore. This is me. I'm not going to shy away from it.
06 June 2008
It could be anything
Theory #3: It could be anything.
I can do anything I want. I could be anyone I want. You can't tell me what I am. [theory 3.1: Only I can declare myself insane] These hands I have can move mountains. I can do something great.
I just finished reading "Choke". It blew me away. It breathed life into me.
It burst bubbles.
Today, I felt like I was going insane. The insessant drum beat of water dropping down my gutter on a clear day. The loneliness. The anxiety. Admitting that I am a boring kid afraid to take risks. [theory 3.2: I really am a boring kid who is afraid to take risks.] Choke helped me realize that, sure... these things are true, but that's okay.
I'm going to build something. Build something amazing. Build something that's totally pointless and no one in the right mind would give a fuck about. [theory 3.3: Story of my life?] It's not going to bring down the skyrocketing price of oil. It's not going to feed the starving masses. It's not going to discourage people from being consumed by suburbia. [theory 3.4: Everyone is being consumed by suburbia.]
It is going to be me.
I can do anything I want. I could be anyone I want. You can't tell me what I am. [theory 3.1: Only I can declare myself insane] These hands I have can move mountains. I can do something great.
I just finished reading "Choke". It blew me away. It breathed life into me.
It burst bubbles.
Today, I felt like I was going insane. The insessant drum beat of water dropping down my gutter on a clear day. The loneliness. The anxiety. Admitting that I am a boring kid afraid to take risks. [theory 3.2: I really am a boring kid who is afraid to take risks.] Choke helped me realize that, sure... these things are true, but that's okay.
I'm going to build something. Build something amazing. Build something that's totally pointless and no one in the right mind would give a fuck about. [theory 3.3: Story of my life?] It's not going to bring down the skyrocketing price of oil. It's not going to feed the starving masses. It's not going to discourage people from being consumed by suburbia. [theory 3.4: Everyone is being consumed by suburbia.]
It is going to be me.
05 June 2008
The consumation paradox
Theory 2- We are all consumers, and will be forever.
The day we stop consuming is the day we die. We'll continue to eat and breathe ourselves to our own deaths until then, if we're lucky.
The problem is, consuming is, by defintion, selfish. We're not breathing so a poor kid in africa will live the night. We're breathing because if we stop we'll die. And of course, death is always scary. [Theory 2.1- death is always scary]
So, of course I'm a hypocrite if I sneer at the faux person walking down the street with the gucci handbag and matching sunglasses. Of course I'm a hypocrite if I think all this consuming should end. [Theory 2.2- I'm a hypocrite]. So I think I stand more against excess than consumption.
Of course excess is a matter of relativity. Fat people eat a normal amount of food, in their eyes at least. [Theory 2.3- We're all relatively normal. everyone else is fucked up, right?] The rich don't spend much on the newest flatscreen HD TV. I'm excessive compared to a starving kid in Mexico. So what should we do?
I wish I knew.
The day we stop consuming is the day we die. We'll continue to eat and breathe ourselves to our own deaths until then, if we're lucky.
The problem is, consuming is, by defintion, selfish. We're not breathing so a poor kid in africa will live the night. We're breathing because if we stop we'll die. And of course, death is always scary. [Theory 2.1- death is always scary]
So, of course I'm a hypocrite if I sneer at the faux person walking down the street with the gucci handbag and matching sunglasses. Of course I'm a hypocrite if I think all this consuming should end. [Theory 2.2- I'm a hypocrite]. So I think I stand more against excess than consumption.
Of course excess is a matter of relativity. Fat people eat a normal amount of food, in their eyes at least. [Theory 2.3- We're all relatively normal. everyone else is fucked up, right?] The rich don't spend much on the newest flatscreen HD TV. I'm excessive compared to a starving kid in Mexico. So what should we do?
I wish I knew.
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