Blind Blind Blind

I worked all day and I feel fine. I think things are coming around this summer. I think I am getting back to who I am. The guy who thinks about other people above himself. The guy who can see things without being blinded by outdated emotions. The guy who knows what he stands for and wont waiver. The guy who realises how blinded we can be and/or are to reality.
Today, I woke up at 6.45 to attend work at 7. It was the earliest I woke up in a long time. I woke up and worked for a few hours unloading a supply truck before getting a half hours rest at home, taking a nap, only to wake up and go back to scooping ice cream. I didn't get home until 6. But something really humbled me. I was talking to Rognel, the cook, during a lull in business. He was working a full 12 hours, 8-8. And he was doing it again tomorrow. I can't imagine it. Yet, my mom thought my shift was horrendous. The fact is though, that we at Friendly's have it nice. We get paid a decent wage. There are people out there who work harder than us, who don't have the future we have, for significantly less money. It makes my little shift look meager and fortunate. Yet, I never really realised it. I suppose it makes me want to work harder to take advantage of the luck I have. So as not to be blind.
But not all was awesome. I don't know about some people. I don't know how everyone gets off thinking they're invincible yet have nothing. We have everything, my friends. Everything we can dream about is here. For the most part, we are free to do anything we want, to say anything we want, to think anything we want, yet we just sit here, stick our thumbs up our asses and think that what we've got sucks because other people get more. Yeah, there are plently of people out there in ivy league schools who are utterly blind and dumb, probably don't deserve what they have, but they have it. I have what I have. It's all I got. This mind is the only one I'll be issued. I think I'd do well to get off my horse and start walking.

The Landlord is Dead

So. It doesn't feel like a week since I posted my oppinions on things on this little webpage of mine. I guess you can blame the Friendlies ice cream corporation for the ammount I've been working lately. Last week I spent nearly two whole days scooping ice cream. It's odd to think about. So I've been tired and such, and sort of thinking less about relevant things. I think I've just been thinking too much about the things in my life that aren't complete and that I myself can't fulfil. I can't worry myself to death about a girlfriend or lack of serious relationships in my life. I understand that I am partially, or even mostly, to blame for this lack, but the bottom line is there isn't much I can really do about it right now, so I should stop being a selfish bastard and realize there are more important things going on here.

I got paid today. In a laughable show of contempt for thier money, I went out and bought a couple of books by Orwell. I haven't gotten around to reading "Animal Farm" or "1984", but I've heard good things. I think I may end up wondering why we didn't have to read these in school, or something. Instead we read "The Jungle". While it was a decent book, I believe people don't like being treated like babies. I think instead of taking people's hand and guiding them toward what you believe in (in the case of the Jungle, socialism), I think instead good books and good arguements should lead people into logically coming to thier own conclusions that coincide with yours. People feel smarter that way, I think. Anyway, this has been the extent of my recent life.
Such a fun, exciting life indeed.

As a little bit of an afterthought, I am wondering if I am becoming a little bit tooo sarcastic. Perhaps. I think I should start considering cutting down on it.

Idioteque

So, today, the mayor of the fine city of New York officially became independent of any mainstream political party. No longer will he be tied down by the shit that is inter-partisan politics. He doesn't have to answer to anyone but himself. I bet it must be nice. No more hiding out as a republican. Good for him. He's governing on what he feels is right, not what the party says is right. I admire him greatly for doing so. I hope he does run for president. He'd get my vote.

Guess that's all I have to say. I'm tired. Gotta wake up at 7 tomorrow and unload a truck. fuck.

In Mind.

Lately my attempts to think outside of myself have been faltering. I find myself maybe being a little too paranoid. A little too tired. A little too uninterested.

Today was father's day. I think my dad had a good day. I woke up and went to mass with him this morning, which I guess he appreciated. I do it most of the time anyway, but I guess it'd be pretty dick of me to not go. Other then that, I didn't leave the house today. I had dinner with the family, but then sort of just chilled at my house. It wasn't because I didn't have a choice, I just found myself to be just tired and uninterested in going out. Maybe it's just a morning waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe.

People, besides upsetting me with stupidity, sometimes ammuse me. For instance, that commerical on TV, I think it's for a Nissan dealership, you know, the "We make buying fun, AND EASY!" guy? Well, I don't know how he does it, but each time he makes a new commercial, he manages to put something so rediculous and hilarious in the commerical it makes me want to go to the dealership to laugh at him. Then I remember the economics behind it and I realize that in order for the commericals to still be running this long, someone must enjoy them enough to buy his shit. Yeah. Our fellow countrymen, listening to a guy with a spinning wheel of savings and a staff that enjoys tossing confetti and doing other such rediculous thing. It's humurous and a little discusting all rapped into a nice package for easy consuming. [lolzpun]

I suppose, though, that maybe I'm not being fair. There are a few people out there who aren't stupid. In fact, there are plenty of people out there who kind of think the same thoughts I have, or atleast I hope. Well, maybe I don't hope, I know there are, and I think there are some who are. There are many people in life I like and appreciate. I suppose I maybe shouldn't be so condesending.

I need a new topic in life.

With A Living

So, um, I am working at Friendlies now. I don't know if I want to say unfortunately. Money good. Most people not so much. Going to be a long summer.

Nothing has really happend. G8 turned out to be dominated by squabblings over anti-ICBM missles in Europe and an intoxicated French Prime Minister. Yeah, that Africa place was sort of mentioned, they said they would apparently keep harvesting resources from Africa and ignore the instibility, famine, and violence that accompany daily life there.
...Ok, so maybe they weren't that frank, but you get the point.

Other then that, nothing's changed. People are still dumb. People are still needlessly dieing. People are still profiting from said death. Um... I am still here being quiet. Change can't occur overnight, I suppose.

Baby steps.

It's Natural to be Afraid

So no one offering employment has called me yet. I am beginning to seriously wonder if there is something wrong with me. I mean, as my dad pointed out, getting these jobs are often connected with not what you know but who you know. I find that to just be like... crushing. I don't understand why this horrible burden is placed on me. It's getting to be just draining.

It's hot out tonight and for some reason the dogs in my room. I'm so not sleeping well. I'll toss in turn in fear that all my problems and struggles will never be alliviated. I'll sweat and be forced to smell the stench that is my dog. I'll worry about anything that can hurt me. The sun will rise, the birds will chirp, and I'll be lucky to wake up at noon.

TV! Sing Me to Sleep

So. Yeah. Too lazy and such to post recently much? Yeah. But my mind has not been becoming mush. This rant should be a longish one, I think, but we'll see how it ends up.

So, I've been searching for a summer job for the past oh, 2 weeks now or so. I've probably put in 6 or 7 applications to different stores. Places you know, I honestly wouldn't mind working at. Borders would be right up my alley. Even last years summer job at BJs wasn't too bad. Even applied at A&P and some other silly chain grocery stores. I don't know what it is about me. Maybe I guess summer help just isn't desirable. I mean, I sorta understand. Why bother training and getting to know someone if you know he's going to leave after like, a few months. But the whole process has been just, wearing on me. Having my parents breathe down my neck over it doesn't help. It's given me a pretty worthless feeling.

I was sitting in Wendy's the other day, after being rejected from BJs, just sitting there having a cheeseburger and one of those frosty float things (which are sort of stellar, I may add), when I was looking over this little contest advert they had on the tables. It had one of the most true statments I've seen in a long time. It read "Many will enter, few will win." Everyone in life tries to attain some sort of happiness, normally through attaining some ammount of relative wealth. Everyone knows the wealthy run the world, they're the ones who appear in the news and have thier own TV shows and get interviewed on stupid 24 hour news channels. They get thier pictures taken and plastered all over those gossip rags. Most everyone wants it. But I'm beginning to think it's all a farse, ya know? Like, that it's just an illusion. That, like that promotion Wendy's is running, no one ever wins. I don't really think that's too good. I think it's quite shitty, actually. I wish it kinda got changed.

The G8 [for the non-aware, the G8 is the anual conference where the 8 leader's of the world's most "powerful" contries meet to discuss stuff and restart cold wars or something] is meeting this weekend in Germany. They're going to discuss such gripping things such as global warming, the new American missle defence system being built in Europe, and how to fuck over Africa and the rest of the 3rd world some more while pretending to be taking action. All this without input from, you know, the other hundred something countries in the world, or the UN or anything. Just rich big boy business. As you may be able to tell through my tone in this paragraph, I don't really support it. I admire the people in Europe who go to these rallies and protests, and wish them the best. Hopefully things don't get too messy outside the event.

We already know things inside the event are a total mess.